miles millikan

he/they

hey!

if you've never met me before, my name's miles. i'm 22 right now, in my senior year at emerson college for theater and performance. right now i live in East Boston, Massachusetts, which is land where the Wôpanâak and Pawtucket indigenous tribes used to live. (https://native-land.ca/)

i'm an improviser mainly ~lol~, and that currently takes shape as acting, music, moving, writing, and painting

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i still don't really know "what's going on" or "what to do," but i did recently figure out why i like having my window open so much,

so:

"                 THAT’s why i like having my window open!!!              "

it makes my living space a part of nature,

in conversation with whatever’s happening outside

feels anti-imperialist

letting the air do what it will with my bed

my comforter

my couch

the only reason i want to be cut off from the outside weather dance

is if it’s dangerous

if it’s so cold or so hot that it’s dangerous

hahahahahah and thus i promptly enclose myself in a tight ass stone cocoon hahahahahaha

but damn,

once the sun rises

once it’s not 20 degrees

milk my room

nature,

intertwine with everything that’s mine

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you make me not feel like there’s not a ‘mine’

i don’t ‘own’ anything

i belong to you as much as you belong to me

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so all of my books are you

and all of your wind is me

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o’ to be breezy

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o’ to be breezy :)

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so….yeah

hahahahahahahaha i really fuck with having my door open

i think the more naturalized my existence can be the better

the more nature i can be attuned to,

the fuller

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the more i can resist this gross disconnection from nature

that all the technology and capitalism and racism and patriarchy are begging us to lean into

the better

i love nature

i love the everything that’s always happening around me

the quintillions of reactions

explosions

coincidences

first times

i love that plane of existence

the wanderer

the alchemist

the spirit

i feel it….

do you….?

if all the strings spun off,

all the tethered unwinds

threads unfurling

if the walls of the box could fall to the ground,

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what shape would the inside of your box be?

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…..

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that feels like the question i’m examining….

or the question i’ve been living inside of

for like 10 months hahahaha

honestly maybe 18….

i’ve just changed so much in 18 months….

but the whole time i've been living and loving and honoring and moaning into the stretch

what’s the inside shape of my box….

when the walls fall….

when my air can breathe….

could expand or remain,

melt or constrict,

could become jagged,

mountainous,

flat,

or a single dot.....

ugh

oh crybaby, a single dot

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i could be a single dot if i wanted to

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and i could expand to the infinity universe the second after

…..

wow

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i could

with the walls of the box fallen

when there’s no way i have to be

when i can be whoever i wanna be, baby

;)

DAMN!

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.......

DAMN!

fr fr just like who are you when you have absolutely no one that you have to be….

that’s just like really interesting to me

i LOVE finding out the things that i’m magnetized towards

the things i find the cosmos in….

and….

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i guess….

i’ve learned

i find the cosmos….

in nature

:)

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so.....

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i leave my window open when i can.